


Oh! Sweet Mystery Of Life

by adventuress_writes



Category: Young Frankenstein (1974)
Genre: Anal Sex, Crack Relationships, F/F, Gay Sex, LGBTQ Themes, Lesbian Sex, M/M, Rough Sex, Thank you Doctor, absolutely no one, aka im taking over this tiny ass fandom, and I made it, and im so incredibly sorry, blucher, crack-fic, forgive me Father for I have sinned, haha just kidding fuck religion!, horses whinnying, i saw this movie again last night and i just had to write a crack fic about it, im sorry, no one asked for this fic to be made, oh jeez guys, oh yeah but really i am sorry about this shitty fic, the gays are taking over the internet, what big knockers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-05
Updated: 2017-10-10
Packaged: 2019-01-09 11:47:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,079
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12275841
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/adventuress_writes/pseuds/adventuress_writes
Summary: This is purely crack fic based off of Mel Brooks' Young Frankenstein. The difference? Everyone is gay! I'm sorry for writing this, friends.





	1. Frederick and His Creation

Frederick Frankenstein held his head in his hands while he sat on a chair in front of a mirror in his bedroom. He felt like he failed the creature he had created. The scientific endeavour had sapped his strength and energy, but he knew it was all worth it. He had reanimated dead tissue for god's sakes! He followed every step perfectly according to the notes his grandfather kept. Yet, it seemed the world was not ready to accept what he had created. The locals had shunned not only Frederick, but they had humiliated his beautiful creature. Just when he thought the world could benefit from the science he had done, those people trampled all over his work and frightened his monster off the stage.

“How dare they,” Frederick thought aloud.

His bewitching creation had run off into the night, most likely captured by the local authorities and chained to the wall like an animal. The thought of Frederick’s creature being treated beastly sent an incensed shiver up his spine. He just wished he could have taught his creation even more than anyone ever could. If his creation was to live like a man, he must be educated and loved and Frederick loved him.

Suddenly he heard the moaning that he knew so well, but he thought he was imagining it, as if hoping his creature would appear in the window. Saddened by his thoughts, Frederick looked up at his mirror and glared at his reflection. Then he heard the noise again and he knew he wasn’t imagining things. Frederick glanced in the direction the noise was coming from and saw the creature standing outside his open window, a big toothy grin on the creature’s face.

“My creation! My love!” Frederick cried ecstatically. 

“Mmmmmm,” The creature moaned in reply. Though it was just a simple noise, Frederick knew that the creature reciprocated the feelings of joy.

Frederick rushed to the window, throwing his robe on over his light yellow silk pajamas. He leapt out of the window, deftly, into the creature’s outstretched arms. The creature caressed Frederick who was significantly smaller in comparison.

“Take me, my love!” Frederick shouted, intoxicated with passion.

In response to his master, the creature bolted out of the castle courtyard, carrying Frederick. The creature took Frederick to a cave outside the village where no one would be able to hear them scream. 

The creature laid Frederick down gently in a pile of soft hay. Frederick easily slid his silk pajama pants off his legs and watched in earnest as the creature doffed his coat and began unbuttoning his pants. Frederick turned over onto his tummy in the hay and accidentally got a mouthful of hay which he promptly spat out. The creature roughly gripped Frederick’s hips causing his master to chortle gleefully. Then the creature started, penetrating his master.

After a moment, Frederick sang in an operatic voice, “Oh! Sweet mystery of life, at last I found you! Oh! I know at last the secret of it all!”


	2. Elizabeth and Inga

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> while frederick and the monster are fucking, so do inga and elizabeth. wooooo gay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm not sure why i enjoy writing this shit. i suppose it could be the fact that i grew up with this movie.. oh man young frankenstein is a classic my dudes, if you haven't seen it watch it immediately. its on netflix

Inga slowly swung the bedroom door open to find Elizabeth brushing her hair in the mirror. The American woman sang a tune as she ran the bristles of her brush through her curly blonde hair. Inga smirked slightly at the sight of Elizabeth singing. She had just met the woman earlier that night, but she already felt a connection to the woman who was to be Frederick’s fiancee. Elizabeth still hadn't noticed Inga walking slowly into her room so Inga spoke up in her thick German accent.

“So, Elizabeth…”

Elizabeth jumped in her vanity seat, startled by suddenly seeing Inga in her bedroom, “Oh, jeez, you startled me!” Elizabeth laughed at her own surprise, “What were going to say, Inga?”

“Oh, nothing much,” beating around the bush, Inga sat on the end of Elizabeth's bed, in front of the vanity Elizabeth was stationed at, “I suppose, I just wanted to get to know you.”

Elizabeth smiled, enjoying the thought of talking about herself, “What would you like to know darling?”

“Well, I was wondering… so you and Frederick are getting married?”

Elizabeth’s animated face shifted to a look of annoyance, “Unfortunately. Yes, I suppose we're getting married soon. Why do ask? You wanna get with him? Ugh, let me tell you he is not worth it.”

“Oh, no that's not why ask. I'm just Frederick’s scientific partner is all. I just wanted to know how you felt about the man.”

“Why?” Elizabeth asked frankly.

“Well… forgive me for being so forthright, but, I think you are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen.”

“Oh my,” Elizabeth smirked, turning her chair to face Inga, “Inga, if you must know, Frederick and I were only getting married as a safe arrangement. You see he is the gayest man I've ever met and I myself, happen to be a lesbian.”

Inga perked up at the last phrase Elizabeth spoke. She watched as Elizabeth stood up from her seat sensually and strode over to Inga, her nightgown flowing around her lithe figure.

“You are very beautiful, Inga,” Elizabeth commented, while tilting Inga’s chin up. The two shared a steamy kiss. Elizabeth gently pushed Inga over on the bed, their lips still locked. Elizabeth ended the kiss to get a glimpse of the lust written on Inga’s face.

“Oh, Elizabeth! The feeling is mutual!” Inga assured, pronouncing the word ‘mutual’ funny.

“Darling, I'm gonna make you scream,” Elizabeth told her lover.

Inga stopped Elizabeth before they kissed a second time, “What if Frederick and Frau Blucher hear?”

There was a faint whinnying of horses outside the castle coming from the courtyard. The two women ignored the distant sound.

“Who cares about Frederick and Frau Blucher!”

They heard a second whinny come from the horses in the courtyard. Elizabeth glanced at her window briefly with bewildered look, while Inga gazed at the ceiling in confused thought.

“Well, anyway, where were we, darling?” Elizabeth focused her attention back on Inga with a grin.

“I believe we were going to canoodle,” Inga replied with a goofy smile.

“Ah, canoodling, my favorite pastime,” Elizabeth snickered, then resumed making out with Inga.

Elizabeth lifted Inga’s nightgown to access the German woman's nether regions. She slipped two fingers inside Inga causing her to start breathing heavy.

“Oh! Ohh! Oh! Sweet mystery of life, at last I found you! Oh! I know at last the secret of it all!” Inga sang in an operatic voice with pleasure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for those of you actually reading this shit, i am so sorry.

**Author's Note:**

> there will be two more chapters. they'll probably be short too just because instead of writing the actual sex im gonna do what they did in the movie with the song. well anyway, keep a look out for the last chapters if you're actually interested. i know this fandom is probably dead.
> 
> update: just kidding. only two chapters total. i lied. love you all <3


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